“I’m just so angry right now, stress from the last two weeks has just built up”.

Yeah, i’ve been freaking out over anger lately. And I cried today. Not well.

Liar- “It’s not like you ever gave a shit about me”.

NO, FUCK YOU. I’VE BEEN WITH YOU ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. YOU RUIN MY LIFE, YET I’VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE. FUCK YOU.

Ex- “Fuck off”.

You were the last person I thought would tell me that.. I made a mistake.. and now you’re the last person I trust, and you just walk out. Just like that.

Me / Friends- “So are you or are you not going out with her”.

Liar- “Nope. It was just a joke”.

[Later]

-Ex walks up to me-

Ex- “So what happened earlier? I heard you hate me and don’t want to talk to me?”

Me- “… What? No, I don’t. Well (liar) told me that you guys going out was a joke”.

-Ex looks hurt by the end of sentence-

Me- “Well you aren’t… are you?”

Ex- “Well.. we are…”

[Ex texts liar]

Ex- “So I heard that us going out was a joke”.

Liar- “Noppers they just heard me wrong”.

Me / Friends - ” Are you or are you not going out with her!”

Liar- “I don’t know. I’m testing the waters”.

 [Ex tells me and shows me the texts how the liar called me many names, including a liar and a hoe].

Me- “Wow.. she hates me..”

“Are you upset?”

Me- “No”.

Actually. I’m fucking freaking out from all the shit that has already happened today. Playing this only adds more.

Coach- “I didn’t know you wanted to play. I thought you just wanted to be team manager”.

Me- “Oh yeah sue that’s fine it doesn’t matter”.

No. Fuck you. I only joined because I wanted to play. Or, you know, just practicing every day is fun too. Not.

In my own mind-

“The past fucking hurts.

I hate fucking thinking about it, it tears me apart inside. How the fuck would anyone expect me to exlain it.

I made fucking mistakes. I never trusted anyone; I guess that’s just why it’s so hard for me now”.

And I wonder why i’m loosing a battle with myself.

“I’ll be fine”.

 ”I’m happy for you guys”.

You know what, fuck you too. You fucking lead me on.

“I didn’t do shit”.

“I don’t need help”.

“I don’t know why”.

The truth was I was actually going to tell someone.

Fact was, I was freaking the fuck out, I was as scared as hell.

“What are those?”

Me- “Cats scratches”.

Every time a new “cat scratch” appears, people are like, “Wow! Your cat must hate you!”

I’m just sitting there nodding.